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Last week, players, coaches, and fans discussed the candidacy of aliens, devils, and David O'Leary for the position of England's national team coach, compared the experiences of squirrels and "Spurs" in the Champions League, debated supernatural and earthly forces that helped "Arsenal" defeat "Villarreal." "It's pure hypocrisy. Time to end this circus, where the one born here is holy, and the one born on the other side of the Atlantic is a devil. I am just like everyone else - I have two legs, two arms, and a head." - Luiz Felipe Scolari scolded a journalist who asked about the offer to train the England team. A clear sign of concern. "About 20 journalists were buzzing at my doorstep - that's really too many. I can't live like this." - After twenty-four hours, L.F.Scolari changed his mind and withdrew from the fight. "I don't care who becomes the new coach, even if it's an alien..." - Ashley Cole hopes that the new England national team coach will be not a resident of this planet. "I tried to talk to him yesterday and today, but no one connected us!" - England national team coach Sven Goran Eriksson wants to reassure the injured Wayne Rooney that his place on the team is secure - of course, first, he needs to fight his way to him. "I should be the happiest coach in the Premier League, but I'm not." - "Chelsea" coach Jose Mourinho feels unappreciated and unhappy, even after winning the second consecutive Premier League title. "These years have been significantly harder, 'Liverpool' has strengthened, 'Man Utd' played better, even 'Arsenal' played better, and 'Tottenham' joined the quartet of five teams." - "Chelsea" star Joe Cole rejoices in winning the champions title against "Man Utd" - count all the teams yourself. "He wanted to advise me, but I didn't listen." - "Arsenal" goalkeeper Jens Lehmann didn't listen to Thierry Henry's advice on how to accurately repel Juan Romano Riquelme's penalty kick - and helped "Arsenal" reach the Champions League final. "If you asked me which player I like the most in the world, I would answer without hesitation, Jens Lehmann." - "Arsenal" defender Gael Clichy, who scored against "Villarreal" from 11 meters, which the latter failed to convert. "There is a high probability that the World Cup will be contested between the German and English national teams - and then I will show you why the Germans are so good at penalties! Maybe then you won't praise me so much." - Hero Jens Lehmann plans to become the biggest troublemaker of the English World Cup. "I would travel anywhere in the world to play in the Champions League final, but in Paris, it will cost me a few more tickets." - Frenchman Arsene Wenger hopes that the match between "Arsenal" and "Barcelona" taking place in his homeland will require additional tickets. "Sometimes football presents unpleasant surprises, and probably God really wanted 'Arsenal' to reach the final." - 'Villarreal' forward Guillermo Franco believes that supernatural forces helped 'Arsenal' overcome the semifinal barrier. "I will love Massimo until death do us part!" - "Middlesbrough" forward Jimmy Floyd Hasselbaink praises his teammate Massimo Maccarone, whose goals helped "Boro" break into the UEFA Cup final. "What a disappointment for England?" - The day is a long period in football, as Steve McClaren doesn't receive the England national team job in the morning, but secures a ticket to the UEFA Cup final in the evening. "We must play and win. If in the last ten minutes, we are losing by three goals, everything will go according to the plan!" - Steve McClaren reveals the game plan for the UEFA Cup final match against "Sevilla." "I was surprised by L.F.Scolari's candidacy. Of course, he had a spectacular career, winning the World Cup with the Brazilian national team - but my grandmother would have won the cup with the Brazilians too." - Former England forward Gary Lineker expressed his criticism of L.F.Scolari. Two days later, his wish came true. "All you need to do is win one trophy and you become a living legend. If Glenn Roeder takes over the club and wins the Carling Cup next season, they will erect a statue for him in Newcastle." - Former "Newcastle" forward Gavin Peacock shares his opinion on the vacant coaching position. "Fans and club management push most coaches out the back door - I was escorted out with loud applause during the parade entrance." - "Charlton" coach Alan Curbishley on his last match at "The Valley" stadium. Poster: "O'Leary for England's national team coach!" - Disappointed "Aston Villa" fans try to push their coach into the same position in the England national team. "And how could Diego Forlan miss... Only 'Man Utd' fans can explain that." - Commentator on the match between "Arsenal" and "Villarreal." "I think Garcia hit the ball unsuccessfully." - "Chelsea" goalkeeper Carlo Cudicini on Luis Garcia's shot from 25 meters that led "Liverpool" to the FA Cup final. "Maybe down there, they earn more money and can afford to play with salaries. Usually, we get by with hamburgers. One such hindered Gary Neville." - "Liverpool" player Jamie Carragher is surprised by "Chelsea" fans who started throwing celery during the FA Cup semifinal match. "A goal is counted if the ball lands a few centimeters behind the goal line." - George Graham finally understood how to play football. "The goal was the decisive factor." - Steve McClaren on "Middlesbrough's" defeat by "West Ham" with a score of 1-0. "I wish them luck in the Champions League qualifying matches." - Chelsea's champion coach Jose Mourinho after losing to "Liverpool" in the FA Cup semifinal. Chant: "You never win the doubles." - "Liverpool" fans to their counterparts from "Chelsea" after the FA Cup semifinal match. Chant: "What are you doing, what are you doing, what are you doing Tuesday night?" - "Arsenal" fans taunting their opponents from North London's "Tottenham" before the return Champions League semifinal match against "Villarreal." Chant: "Benjani, who-ah-whoh whoh... he came from Zimbabwe and he will score someday." - "Portsmouth" fans about forward Benjani Mwaruwari, who finally managed to score over the weekend. Chant: "We'll meet again, but who knows when, who knows where." - "Newcastle" fans to the relegated "Sunderland" supporters during the "Tyne-Wear" derby. Poster: "The squirrel has more Champions League experience than 'Tottenham'." - "Arsenal" fans during the North London derby after the Champions League semifinal matches, where a squirrel ran onto the field."
