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Last week Lampard unsuccessfully argued with a Barcelona fan, Sven Goran Eriksson's assistant reassured England fans, or maybe himself, and Sir Alex Ferguson revealed the truth about Ruud van Nistelrooy's position in the team.
"Put your hands together and thank our good friends from West Ham!" - former West Ham player Tomas Watt makes a cheeky offer to Arsenal fans after the Hammers beat Tottenham and helped the Gunners secure fourth place in the league.
"We're just bursting bubbles!" - Arsenal fans respond with the lyrics of a favorite West Ham fan song.
"The fitness coach calls me 'Baloo' because I'm tall and heavy, and it's hard to bring me down. So he promised that when I score the next goal, he'll do victory dance for me like Baloo from 'The Jungle Book' - what wouldn't you do for your teammates." - Barnsley striker Marc Richards explains his backflip after scoring a goal that helped the team break into the Play-off matches of the First League.
"In the middle of the first half, I started regretting that I didn't go to New Zealand." - Alan Curbishley, whom Sir Alex Ferguson gifted with the last game at the helm of Charlton, a first-class ticket to New Zealand to visit his sister. Meanwhile, Man Utd already lead by a three-goal margin.
"Sir Alex also gave me a bottle of special red wine. He had to give me at least two for those points we took from Liverpool." - Curbishley again.
"It was a tough day for all the players. Some of them saw me as a mother, others as a father, and the rest as a brother or sister." - Rushden and Diamonds coach Barry Hunter on his last game after which the club cut into the Conference.
"I've met Luiz Felipe Scolari three times and we had a conversation.... and then he said he's not interested in this job, but we never offered him this position. I've always supported Steve McClaren's candidacy." - FA head Brian Barwick tries to convince everyone that Steve McClaren was never a backup option after Luiz Felipe Scolari. Obviously, Brian.
"It's like a fairy tale land." - Newcastle coach Glenn Roeder cannot believe the prospects of participating in the Intertoto Cup.
"We are creating a Plan B right now - but I have no idea what that plan looks like." - Sven Goran Eriksson's assistant Tord Grip tries to calm down England fans.
"It seems he missed some of those, maybe a dozen." - Inspiring speech by Sir Alex Ferguson about Ruud van Nistelrooy, after he failed to convert an 11-metre penalty against Middlesbrough.
"It was a significant day and we wanted everyone to be together. In this situation, it was best for Ruud to step aside." - Sir Alex Ferguson again, before the match with Charlton.
"When I was young, I never saw any football matches. Simply, where I grew up, no one played it. This sport didn't exist for us... and only now am I beginning to understand the importance of the World Cup." - Finally, George W. Bush discovers football.
"Players will never apologize, because their self-esteem won't allow it. I think they are very arrogant people. They will blame anyone, but themselves." - Birmingham owner David Sullivan says what he thinks.
"Elena grew up watching Barcelona, so she often gets angry at me for not doing tricks like Ronaldinho. And I have to explain that you can't play football that often," - Frank Lampard about the struggles of dating a Barcelona fan.
"I bought Luna two Chelsea jerseys, secretly brought them home and dressed her in them. Elena laughed and immediately took them off. Since that moment they hang in the closet." - Lampard struggles to persuade Elena that their daughter should support Chelsea.
"If Steven Gerrard can play in his favorite position, he will demonstrate real football." - Steven Gerrard on his role in the England national team.
"You can cut his head off, but it won't stop him from playing." - Joe Cole about the immortal John Terry.
"My wife may be as passionate as me, but that doesn't mean she would be a good football coach." - Man City fans about Stuart Pearce, when a radio show host talks about the former England star's passion.
Posters of the week:
"Survive Pompey, Pompey Survive." - Aston Villa fans cheer during the match against Liverpool, knowing that Portsmouth's survival would mean the relegation of their city rivals Birmingham to a lower league.
"Premier League titles: buy one and get the other for free." - Somewhere at Stamford Bridge stadium.
